I'm trying really hard to be excited about my birthday this year for a change but I've had really bad luck with birthdays since I was like 15. My last birthday my grandparents decided to come down for and know one told me about it and it ended up with my mom banning my grandfather from our house. When I was 18 I'd just broken up with my boyfriend/best friend after realizing I was gay and my two more of my best friends who were a couple had just broken up so my friend group was shattered and it was an incredibly awkward afternoon. A lot of other birthdays have been plagued with fights and drama within my family and I'm trying to be excited this year because I've kind of downplayed it in a lot of years past to try and dodge the anxiety and depression that tends to follow it, but it just feels like its looming over me. I'm anxious and I cant sleep and I'd kill for a few more months.